Divorce
As of 2008 45% of all marriages in England and Wales will end in divorce. This equates to anything from 120,000 to 150,000 married couples filing for divorce per year and this will affect anything from 100,000 to 160,000 children per year. These statistics were taken from www.statistics.gov.uk
Note: These statistics do not include unmarried couples and their children.
The social and personal impact of divorce and separation is immense and affects both the adults and children in the immediate family and also their extended families and friends. Children, especially young children, are particularly susceptible to the negative effects of familial breakdown and more often than not get caught in the crossfire between ‘warring’ parents. Children lose their sense of security, family and continuity, blame themselves, are confused, and often regress to earlier developmental stages. The adults in failing or failed relationships are also far from immune to emotional and psychological ‘fallout’. There is often a loss or bereavement period; Depression concerning the lost investment; Anxiety concerning the future; a loss of self-worth; guilt, regret, anger, resentment, denial, blame; a sense of betrayal or abandonment, a loss of faith in oneself; and much more besides. Also, our legal system is adversarial, encouraging blame between the parties which is less than helpful.
Counselling and Psychotherapy have a role to play under these circumstances and can be of great help to all parties concerned.
- In relationships where there is a possibility of salvaging the relationship Therapy can:
- Help both parties learn to better communicate their individual needs
- Create better understanding and reduce stress
- Overcome aggressive tendencies
- Create appropriate boundaries for children allowing for ‘Adult time’
- Improve communication and reduce stress within the family as a whole
- Offer children and Adolescents an outlet to express their fears, concerns and emotions and thus lessen the impact of divorce and the likelihood of self-blaming and insecurity
- In irreconcilable relationships or during and after divorce, Therapy can:
- Reduce tension between parties and offer a route to a more amicable split thus reducing legal costs and help prevent children from being caught in the ‘crossfire’
- Create ‘working’ relationships between estranged parties to facilitate cordial child access rights in which children can feel secure with both their parents
- Offer children and Adolescents an outlet to express their fears, concerns and emotions and thus lessen the impact of divorce and the likelihood of self-blaming and insecurity
- Offer emotional release to adults to reduce stress and frustration.
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